Hollow Depths I hold in my last breath. It’s made absent in these depths. I suspend my fears…I prepare for what’s to come. Behind me I leave a world torn from division and isolation. Ahead, a sense of peace that only divine souls crave. To venture into acceptance. To where I seek to purge. There can be no turning back. I must take a leap of faith, and surrender to the un-manifest. I slowly sink into the abyss. And it pulls me hard. Deep deep low down. To reveal to me my shadow fears, which lay beneath. I am here-what I am not-out there. I free fall and release the worries and anxieties, free floating above me. I cannot see them here. I am blinded by its darkness. What-is-this-place? An illusory parallel realm or a dream state of being? Where memories dis-appear, drift away to somewhere else. All that is left is pure spirit. The darkness finds me. Down here there is no light. No melancholia. A home with a deafening silence. I am welcomed here. They tell me I am expected. I discover I exist alone. All that is left is this moment. I pray. I grieve. I give thanks. The healing is done. Soon it’ll be time for me to return. To depart, and feel home sick with longing once more. But as I leave this sacred place I transform. I shed my old wounds in each step I take-forwards. The scars from my battles of old do not ascend with me. They decide to be left behind in the stillness. This was their intention all along. In turn, I go forth lighter upon my return. I am reshaped. I am reformed. Remembered. Reclaimed. Reborn.
Elements Fire, earth, air water. The I, who wish to know myself, can gaze at the night skies above me. No where else can I truly be, the myself that I had forgotten. Fire, earth, air water.
Darkest Moon There’s power in the acceptance of your darkness, and the ability to create something powerful with it. Our job is to uncover what lies beneath, in the darkest part of ourselves and within our collective subconscious. Those internal darkest corners that bubble up, and we cover up. We can give the process a transformative life and a new identity. We must learn how to integrate with that darkness. Not to be crushed, or allow it power and to unconsciously be driven by it. But to fully take ownership. To use magic and alchemy to show us who we are in a way we can truly understand and accept. Then to recreate The opportunity to do the opposite. To show us who we can instead be. To become anew. holistic. The best mythological stories of the human condition are the ones that resurface from the dark and turn it into the light. There is no escape, nor running away, or procrastination from it. Only the free choice of which lifetime the Great Work is to be accomplished.
Let there be sound In the beginning the ancients pronounced source as emerging from sound. In the beginning the ancients spoke of all creation... emanating from resonance. In sound I find my center. Through sound all formations come to light. Vibration IS the sphere. The primordial fog Wills expression into being. The higher harmonic of the eather materialized. Being is a shape whose center is everywhere and circumference no where. A pulse. Infinite and fleeting. Volatile is existence. Seeing the sound. Hearing the bright sight. Immersed in a state of synesthesia. Let there be sound. Echoes on.
Fallen Dream I am the central stillness. I am a whisper. I am the cosmos. I am the warmth in your heart that shine light in the darkness. I dwell in your waking hours and in the realm of your sleep. It’s ok to open your eyes-slowly-when you are ready to truly see. Take one breath at a time. Move through me. Have faith in my presence. Seek when you feel alone, and take rest on my soil. Take refuge in the synchronicity of my pulse. I love you as myself. Take deep breath’s. Unclench your heart. Take off your disguise and let go of your pain. I can hold it for you. I see you have taken all you can bare. The courage you have had to face your shadow. As you heal yourself, you heal the collective. I ask you to rise. To be in a state of high vibration. To remember that you won’t fail…All you have to do is hold on. To show up. Let go of the confusion and doubt seeded by your culture. The conditioning of your societies. Seek to find the truth. Your inner wisdom guides you. Open up. Practice on The Tree of Life to understand me. The demons of this world are Angels, who lost their way. This is all a story. A fallen dream. All is of pure Aether, or nothing is. You are entering the unknown. But if all is of Aether, then the Aether is the unknown too. To behold the unknown, and know it as the whole, is to claim faith. You do not need fear, nor hate any longer. Hand it over to me. Rest it here gently. I’m sorry the world hurt you…Rest now. Remember, I am always with you.
She says “I have demons baby. And this is just feeding them.” And he responds in all honesty... “but baby, who can blame the swamp for it’s monsters?”
I was acting 'mad again’, I told him “sorry” and lets start again then. But he griped my hand, stared deeply into my eyes, through my soul’s painful afflliction’s, and said...“let’s continue”...
If a choice has to be made between this and death. I am happy to die.
I light a candle in the church alter, i kneel. I ask influence C is this a drill? “Love cannot offer you peace of mind”. I write him a love letter he refuses to read. I think of Sylvia Plath’s. To win your lover, tear him away from his afflictions. Light is easy to love. Show me your darkness. I give it all away. I let the resentment fade. Feeling is better than the numbness they say.
He loves me. "You’ve had an impact on me" he said soberly on his Isle of Bute. Strumming the blues on his old guitar, wrtiting his pomes, hiding his scars. A turbulant past, but love in his heart. Restless nights, a full moon resides. Emotional, mental and physical pains keep him awake. I block him to keep him away. To spare my heart, the wilderness it cannot take. But I return because i have to stay. Both addicts in our own ways. If there’s a God, please heal this ache. This stone bleeds.
I wish he’d left me be in the empty house. Don’t claim me if i’m not for keeps.
Peace of mind? Nah, let’s go for intensity. Even when it breaks me. This is what it is to truly be living.